Morrison's Large Pork Pie with Egg

Before we start let's be clear - this pie made me late for work. That's right. Precious time was lost getting this pie from the fridge in the morning, time that cost me my train connection.

On another, more serious, note it has to be said, this was the pie that broke all the rules.

We have tended to stick to small pies in this blog. We like to maintain a high crust-to-filling ratio, and a small pie is guaranteed to deliver on this score. This pie was large and was taking us into new territory.

The pie had been refrigerated during the day and someone had pushed it to the back of the fridge, meaning part of it was over-chilled when we retrieved it for eating. We left the pie to approach room temperature before unwrapping.

Cutting the pie was a firm experience, but lacking some of the biscuity crispness we like. The base was a good consistency and clear of any lard. The lid was similarly clean. The first cut caused the pie to collapse. Once this initial incision had been made normal cutting service was resumed.

The egg was offset from the centre and the yoke, needless to say, was offset in the egg. This is where the pie delivered a completely unexpected personality never before experienced by the eaters of this blog.

The revelation was that this pie was dominated by meat. The lower crust-to-filling ratio brought the meat to the fore. The egg, despite expectations, acted as a texture and seasoning agent by bringing a salty flavour and lighter texture to the meat.

We have had some pies that are over-seasoned, particularly with pepper. This pie, without the egg, would have been acceptable but meaty. Potentially too meaty. The egg balanced the meat perfectly and introduced a personality to each bite that would not have been there had this been meat all the way through.

Flavour balance: meat 45%, pastry 40%, egg 10%, gelatine 5%.

Overall score: 8/10

Tesco's Small Melton Mowbray

This week's pie is the “Small Melton Mowbray” offering from British supermarket giant Tesco. At 71 pence per 140g pie, it's easy to see how the retailer made over £2 billion last year in profits, the question is - has any of the cash been reinvested in product improvement?

On opening the greaseproof paper, the pies were a sight to behold. Resplendent in dark pastry cases, they sat up in the stout manner of a well formed porker. Further examination of the pies showed a translucent, lard covered base which some found to be a little off-putting. As this reviewer isn't one to be discouraged by a little extra fat, this greasy delight was thoroughly welcome, and expected to impart extra flavour and additional succulence.

The pies cut well, with the pastry gently crumbling with the texture of a digestive biscuit. Surprisingly, while on inspection the base seemed to be moist and fat laden, on cutting it was solid and slightly crispy. This unexpected event prompted squeals of barely concealed glee at the prospect of tasting a pork pie imparting such contrary impressions.

The selected quarter was exposed and turned to face outwards, revealing the firm pork glory within. The meat within was extremely tightly packed, surrounded by just a hint of jelly, to which one reviewer was moved to comment “I love it when my meat touches the sides”. However you interpret this, the firm and full filling looked sure to supply more than adequate savoury satisfaction.

Unfortunately the pie once again contradicted these lofty expectations with a dull and unexciting taste. While not offensive, the meat was certainly not as flavour packed as it was tightly packed in the pie. Maybe I desire for a heavily seasoned filling, but this slightly insipid meat certainly didn’t enrapture the eater.

On the other hand the pastry shell of this small Melton Mowbray pie did live up to it’s billing, having texture and taste that was slightly biscuit like, confirming earlier observations, and providing a stark contrast to the disappointing filling.

It’s tough to draw conclusions from this review – this pie promised much and delivered little. While expectations were built of a fat, firm and fine pork delight, it left the tasters on this panel rather ambivalent about the proposition of finishing the pie.

By constructing a product that is firmly in the middle of the pork pie pecking order, Tesco have managed to neither delight nor offend this panel, an response that is perhaps Tesco’s biggest achievement. This strategy is exactly what has allowed them to dominate the competitive supermarket niche. By appealing to all, and offending none, they can shift larger volumes of product than any other retailer in the British Isles.

To answer my original question: Yes. This pork pie has been designed and improved. Unfortunately enhancements have been made not to taste and texture benchmarks, but to Tesco's balance sheet and profit forecasts. By moulding their pies to cause least offence, Tesco have come up with a product entirely uninspiring and exciting. And there’s the rub. To attain the heights that a truly great pork pie can achieve, you need to put culinary perfection before profits.


Flavour balance: meat 15%, pastry 80%, gelatine 5%.

Overall score: 7/10

Sainsbury's

Pork pie review by guest Canadian reviewer

I felt honoured and privileged to be asked to write this weeks review for Team Pork pie. I've lived in the UK now for almost 7 years and not once have tried a pork pie. Suffering from a bad hangover today, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to feast on some meaty greasy comfort food.

This week we are trying Sainsbury's own brand. On first sight, the generic packaging and cello wrap was slightly off putting. I suggested warming them up and was met with a resounding "NO!!" Alright then. (note to self, if I ever try them again a little sneaky zap in the oven MIGHT help).

The pastry was very thick, and Diji was impressed by its slightly matt finish. I would have preferred a lighter flakier crust and especially that it was eaten cold, it felt very greasy.

The meat inside was very dense, and on first site resembled dog food. I persevered. I'll leave it up to Melton the Mouth to report on how much meat it contained but it couldn't have been much. It was very low on seasoning and it might have been nice to detect some kind of savory spice. Dunno. The experts noted that there was too much air between the meat by product and

the crust.

In previous reviewing sessions where I was simply observing, I noticed a fair amount of a gelatinous substance surrounding the meat. This scared me. I didn't detect any until the third sample quarter. This I'm afraid was the clincher - trying to maintain a dignified presence when your gag reflex is kicking in is very difficult.

I wasn't entirely impressed by my first ever meat pie, but considering I love meat, and pie, and have a soft spot for meaty greasy food I might be up for trying it again.

This time, from Harrods or Selfridges food hall.

Thanks guys.

Pie 'but I will have a third piece' Eater

Non glossy Diji

Keeping the stats Melton the Mouth

Morrisons Vale of Mowbray

Frankly, I wasn't looking forward to this pie. Yesterday we'd feasted on Fortnum's finest, and the snob in me eyed up Morrisons' celophane-wrapped, stretching-the-sell-by-date offering with more than a little trepidation.

'Vale of Mowbray'? Made in Bradford, mate. This is a small pie with big pretensions, despite the 79p for two price tag. The label didn't make pleasant reading: 357 calories. Enough additives to pickle Tutankhamun. And the killer admission (for one of our panel, at least): may contain traces of nuts.

Out of the packet. Just an ordinary pie. Dry, neat, perhaps a little too factory-perfect. It cut fairly well, with just the right hint of flakiness.

Sliced into the usual quadrants, all the boxes seemed to have been ticked: a crispy coat, a waxy inside, the solid rump of pinky porky goodness. But wait a minute: where's the gelatinous gooeyness that is the pork pie's stock in trade?

(Call me a pork pie philistine, but I've never been terribly keen on oodles of jelly in my pie, so in me, the little pie from oop North was already winning an admirer.)

Taste test. At first munch, the main sensation was a pleasant crunchiness. No undue moistness, no overbearing saltiness. But the anticipated bouquet of well-seasoned pork just didn't materialise. In fact, at no stage did this pie reveal itself as containing any flavour of meat at all.

In this pie, Morrison's have put texture before taste, shelf-life before seasoning, mechanically-reclaimed manufacturing before perky piglets, popping out of the pie to prance on your palette.

And yet, and yet. As my fellow taster put it: "I could eat this pie all day". There I am, an aficionado of all things organic and artisanal, munching pretty happily on this unassuming little offering. It's trash, I know it, but like so much other junk food, there's something unexpectedly comforting about it. Even if that something isn't flavour.

Flavour balance: meat 10%, pastry 90%, gelatine 0%.

Overall score: 7/10

Fortnum and Mason

Following last weeks' disappointing offering from Marks and Spencer we took no chances and ate like kings with a £3.50 pie from the counter at Fortnum and Mason. Admittedly we did break rank here by leaving the supermarkets for 'specialist pie' but when there's pie in the house it's got to be eaten.

Before we proceed with the review we must dedicate it to Sarah for she supplied the offering.

Game on! Initial signs were good with the posh paper wrapping complete with the Fortnum and Mason livery. Carefully pulling away the wrapping revealed a pie that immediately caused controversy. There was a prominent glaze on top and the walls, well they were semi-opaque with not a hint of unnecessary grease. This pie was indeed a tart. Let's not be judgemental just yet though, it's what's inside that counts.

Cutting in to the pie I was frankly a little worried as the walls didn't look like they'd take the pressure when under the knife. Re-assuringly the walls did not buckle and the pie cut smoothly into quadrants to reveal an attractive spread of pork and gelatine with a very clean cut. Please note for our tests we only ever use a cheap dining knifes.

The pork assuringly was not too densely packed revealing itself as a balanced meaty mass with an elastic memory when force was removed. You won't often see this feature in a standard factory pie where the meat is normally tightly packed in. The quantity of gelatine was spot on and not too gelatinous.

Biting in to this pie was a beautiful and enlightening experience quite like none other I've ever experienced with pie. The pastry was not the slightest crunchy and not a single crumb dropped off my chin. This did not offend me, though my fellow tasters might have preferred a little more crunchiness.

Beyond the pastry this pie tasted of pork and nothing else. As one of our tasters put it this pie is all about the meat, And I'd agree. As I sank my teeth into the meat it melted away with the pastry and my taste buds were tingling with the taste of quality pork. The gelatine provided a nice transition between pork to pastry digestion.

In conclusion this pie was a triumph in my eyes though I do need to take the other taster views in to consideration. For some the lack of crunchiness in the pastry was a concern as this may be considered as a mandatory feature of the pork pie family. This pie pushes the boundaries of pork pie making with the emphasis on taste and experience. Definitely one to try before you die.

Flavour balance: meat 65%, pastry 15%, gelatine 20%.

Overall score: 8.5/10

Marks and Spencers

Purchased on 1st November and best before 1st November...hmmm...come on M&S we think your stock management might need some attention. Does display until the 1st mean display on the 1st or remove on the 1st? Anyway, let's talk pie.

No issues with the packaging, no air holes or tears so this pie should be in good condition.

First impresson, the pie looks okay, a good shine, no obvious fat on top, just enough roughness in shape to look 'real'.

Touching the pie. It's a bit softer than I was expecting. This might be the best before issue rearing its ugly head. I'm now wondering if the shine betrays a limp pastry.

Pass the knife. Taking a standard knife from a cutlery set I cut the pie into quarters. This pie is definitely sinking under the pressure. The edge crust should be hard against the knife, with a little crumble, but instead it is giving way too easily. It could be worse, but this is not looking good.

The cut surface of the pie meat is textured like a fine sandpaper, this could be a cleaner cut.

The pie crust is even all round, a good quality.

The gelatine is distributed very unevenly, tending to sit in one place. Now I like a good mouthful of gelatine as much as the next man, but with a pie it's nice to spread it around.

Eating the pie is a disappointing experience. The pie components seem to share a common consistency. The crust does not differentiate itself enough. The meat is understated and I'm left with the lingering saltiness of the gelatine.

Flavour balance: meat 35%, pastry 45%, gelatine 20%.

Overall score: 6/10